Group Efforts

[tifaching]

Story Title: Group Efforts
Name:tifaching
Character/Relationships: Sam, Dean, John, Mary, Jess, Ruby
Rating: PG
Summary:  Sometimes it takes a group effort to get things done. 
Coda for: 5:14  My Bloody Valentine
Warnings: Language, non-explicit mentions of torture. 
A/N:  Written for spn_las,     Prompt was for a story written in the first person POV.  This is my first try at that so I'm not sure how it came out.  Got one vote for best story, one vote for worst story, so I guess the voters had a hard time with it too!  :)



“Sam. Sam!” The voice is insistent, demanding my attention, but my attention’s not really responding to demands right now and since this particular voice can’t be here anyway, I ignore it.

It’s dark. Is it dark? I can’t tell because I can’t seem to open my eyes, but it seems like it should be dark. And cold. It should be freezing. I feel like light and warmth have gone and won’t ever be coming back. The voice is hammering at me, sharp and annoying like it’s trying to push me into the frigid blackness, so I don’t fight it and sink into the depths.

When I float back to the surface, it’s like someone’s unsealed my eyelids and, with effort I’m not sure it’s worth it to expend, I pry them open. I’m staring up at a devil’s trap in a metal frame with a fan spinning lazily above it and it takes me a minute, but I remember. I remember. Christ, I’m back in Bobby’s panic room because….because. Fuck. I did it again. I fucking did it again. It all comes crashing back- the demons, Famine, Dean. God, Dean. He knows. He saw….fuck.

“Sam.” The voice is back and oh, do I know that tone. The I’m done fucking around with you, so cut the shit tone.

“I don’t want to fight.”

“So quit fighting.”

It takes about a hundred years, but I manage to turn my head to face him. He’s leaning against the door like that would keep me from getting out if I really wanted to. If I really wanted to and wasn’t chained to a table, he’d be the last thing keeping me here. Then he starts to talk again and I think that maybe he’s not trying to keep me in. Maybe he’s trying to keep Dean out.

“Why don’t you quit fighting, Sam? You’re hurting yourself. You’re hurting your brother. Have you looked at him lately? Really looked? This is what you’re meant to do. You were born to do this. Say yes, Sammy.”

“No. No, Dad. I wasn’t. I won’t.”

“But you were, sweetie.” A hand brushes softly through my hair, strokes my face. “You were born to do this, I made sure of it. And you will say yes. I know you will.”

“Mom.” And it is. She’s there, her face beautiful and peaceful and sure. “Please, Mom. I don’t want to. I’m scared.”

“I know you are, baby. You don’t have to be, though. Your father and I will be with you every step of the way.” Mom holds out her hand and Dad’s there to grasp it, his other hand landing strong and firm on my shoulder. “Just like we were for Dean.”

My head’s spinning and it’s hard to process what they’re saying, because they can’t really want me to say yes. And Dean...what?

I don’t think I speak, but Dad grins sharply and answers me anyway. “Come on, Sammy. Alastair was good, but you’d have been old and gray before your brother broke if your mother and I hadn’t given him some insights.”

“Nobody hurts Dean like family.” Mom laughs and Dad leans over to kiss her.

There are lips pressed against mine too, and when I can focus again, Jess is there. She’s straddling my hips, her torso draped over mine and as she rises up, she’s smiling. “I helped too, Sam. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

“Helped?” I’m lost here because Jess wasn’t in hell, she wasn’t. “You didn’t even know Dean.”

“No.” Her smile is proud. “I know you, though. And all roads into Dean lead straight through you, Sam.” Her hands are busy now, holding a whetstone and sharpening a wicked looking blade. Her eyes are full of innocent joy as she stares into mine. “There were all kinds of things I could do.”

Jess leans forward again and kisses me like she’s trying to suck all the air from my lungs. Hers aren’t the only lips on me though, and teeth pull at my earlobe before another voice starts the blood boiling in my veins.

“Guess what I did, Sammy.”

Ruby? I want to spit the name back into her face, but Jess has my mouth otherwise occupied.

“Yeah, baby it’s me.” Her voice is like sin. “I spent some quality time downstairs with big brother, too. I guess you could call me the event coordinator. You know- for the times everyone wanted a taste.”

And it’s too much. Too fucking much. A rough shake of my head dislodges Ruby, backs Jess off. My eyes lock with Dad’s and I want him to tell me it’s not true. That they didn’t. That he didn’t. But he smiles, licks his lips, and I’ve seen that look before. In the cabin when the demon was crowding Dean, bleeding him, killing him.

“You bastard. You did. You helped them break him. You all helped do that to my brother!” The restraints are tight around my wrists, my ankles, Dean had made sure of it and no matter how hard I struggle I can’t break free. I know they’re dead already, but I want to annihilate them for turning Dean into this unfixable thing. “God, Dad. How could you?”

“It was the only way he’d fulfill his destiny.”

“His destiny was to be Michael’s vessel!”

“His destiny was to break that seal. That’s what he was made for. You should have seen him, Sammy. No guilt, no fear. If that damned angel had just left him alone, he’d be fine. Take him back home where he belongs. Where you belong. Say yes, son.”

“Sam. Sam!” And oh, thank God. It’s Dean, finally, pale and exhausted but chasing the ghosts away, taking care of me like always. And I’ll say yes for him if he needs me to. God help me, I will.

---

Comments

[erda]

Lovely, angsty writing. I find this very believable.

[tifaching]

Thank you! I can see detoxing from demon blood going just this way.

[spn-j2fan.livejournal.com]

I loved this! I voted for this excellent story. I loved the imagery. I thought it was excellent use of first person POV and the twisted logic at the end was just perfect.

Great job!

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you! After reading the amazing stories this round, I didn't think I'd get a vote, so thank you, really.

It took me forever to come up with a point of view character for this, and Sam isn't one I usually write so it was a departure to get into his delusional, detoxing head like this.

And I'm glad you liked the end. If it took a group effort to break Dean, then maybe one will turn Sam as well.

Once again, thank you so much!

[spn-j2fan.livejournal.com]

I had a really hard time with this POV as well. Even though I've written several stories in the first person, I couldn't see myself relating to these guys from that POV.

I just read your summary, and I don't think it was hard to read at all. There were some nice stories this time, weren't there?

After several weeks that your story has been in my top two picks, I'm really glad I voted for yours this week. It really was well done.

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Ah, thank you. I notice that I didn't really put a summary here, just an authors note. *off to fix this*

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Just got my feedback post and I want to thank you again! Such lovely compliments for my story!

The fb reasoning for the worst story vote was that the story was hard to follow and after several readings, the voter still couldn't figure out who the POV character was. So I don't feel so bad about the worst vote now. Because if you can't figure out that the POV character is Sam, I just really can't take your vote seriously.

[rozabellalove.livejournal.com]

You know what, I think if anything pretty much had to be written in first person perspective then it's this whole scene. The time in Bobby's basement was only ever truly experienced by Sam, all the others could do was watch.

So yeah, you picked a great point in time to explore and you did it well :D

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Writing in the first person was hard, but not as hard as I thought it would be. If Sam and his ordeal in the panic room hadn't come to me, it would have been a lot more difficult.

And yes, no one knows what Sam saw in there but Sam. It was a bunny and now it's hopped!

So glad you enjoyed, thanks again!

[borgmama1of5.livejournal.com]

Creepy!

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[debbiel66.livejournal.com]

I normally don't read first person POV but you made this work, and certainly this scene was one that called for it. Thank you!

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Thank YOU! First person doesn't usually work for me either, but the prompt called for it and the entries this week were all very good.

And yes, Sam was the only one really there, so it had to be his pov.

I'm so glad you enjoyed, thanks!

[louisem27.livejournal.com]

You know I enjoy everything you write and this is no different.

You are amazing!! What you touch is gold.

Thanks for sharing.

Hugs
K

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Thanks hon! Your comments always make me smile!

[glasslogic.livejournal.com]

I liked this story! 1st POV is a real challenge and I think you did a great job with it.

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Thank you. 1st person IS hard!

[lylithj2.livejournal.com]

Oh that was great!
I loved you exploring Sam detoxing-- again. And all the demons that fill his head! I thought the POV was a perfect fit too.

Great mind f'!

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I have no idea where this came from, I'm just glad it came!

[keerawa.livejournal.com]

*whistles* Gorgeous follow-on from when we saw Sam go through withdrawal the first time in that panic room.

“Nobody hurts Dean like family.”
So true. Gah. Mom and Dad giving Dean insights. Eeep.

I want to annihilate them for turning Dean into this unfixable thing.
No wonder Sammy has rage issues.

And I thought first-person was a great choice for this scene. Well done!

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

Yeah, the Winchesters- just one big happy family!

And Sam- not the thing to find out while you're still detoxing from demon blood.

I'm so glad you enjoyed!

[ratherastory.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was one of my favourites. Absolutely chilling. The last line is a killer. :)

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I was hoping that last line wasn't too much. If Sam listened to the voices in his head about Dean, things could have gone very badly.

Glad you enjoyed!

[a-phoenixdragon.livejournal.com]

Gods...oh GODS, Sammy!! Dammit, this hurt so bad!! But it was soo soooo good!

*Clings, sobbing*

Thank you, sweetheart...

*HUGS*

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Thanks BB!

[cece-away.livejournal.com]

Oh my gosh, using family to get to him like that. It's very powerful and gets right into the insanity of it all well. Great job. I would have voted for best.

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Sam detoxing just jumped into my mind for this one, I don't really know why. And Sam's demon blood filled brain would hallucinate really awful things.

There were a bunch of good stories this week so I was really happy to get one first place vote. I'm waiting for the feedback post to see what the voter who voted my story worst based that decision on. I'll be interested to see where they think I can improve because I'm always looking to get better!

[lazy-8s.livejournal.com]

Chilling, but awesome! I loved how Dean broke through to Sam at the end.

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. Dean will always come through for Sam, even if it sometimes doesn't seem like it!

[phorenice.livejournal.com]

It's a good story, very creepy and convincing and I think I would have loved it in limited third person. In first person it's still good but it feels a little off for me, and I think this is why:

I don't really like reading first person POV (which is why I've mostly stayed away from this round of spn_las). I think the only way it really works for me is when I can pretend I'm having a coffee with the POV character and they're telling me their story. And it works better the less I'm used to watching the character from the outside. So OC outsider POV written in first person about the time the OC met those brothers? No problems with that. Sam or Dean POV about something they wouldn't talk about to a stranger? Just doesn't feel right.

In original fiction I'm a little less picky but I'm much more likely to read (and enjoy) third person POV.

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your input! I really don't like first person either, if I see that a story is written that way I'll read the beginning to see how it goes, but usually I use the back button pretty quickly.

I thought hard about using my skip this round but I want to save it for a week where maybe I really can't write something.

I really tried to come up with something that wasn't main character focused, but failed big time. I'm glad it worked in a way for you and I agree that it would be a lot better in third person!

[abeautifullie3.livejournal.com]

Not to be all, anti-right to personal opinion, but...ummm...someone voted this worst story? Uhhh...WTF were they smoking?!?

Come on! This was intense, dark, gut wrenching (all those in good ways), and so easily imagined as a canon glimpse into Sam's thoughts.

I say well done. Both story wise, and with the first-person POV.

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

There were some AWFULLY good stories this week. I'm waiting for the mod to e-mail me the feedback so I can see the reasoning behind the votes. I'm just thrilled to have gotten a first place vote with all the amazing stories posted. I haven't won a round, but I've gotten at least one first place vote in every round so far, so I'm pretty happy with that.

Thanks so much! This was my first foray into first person and if it wasn't necessary for the competition, I may never have done it! I'm glad it worked for you, I could see this as something Sam's demon blood addled brain could have come up with!

[ash-carpenter.livejournal.com]

This is fantastic! I can just see this happening in Sam's mind in the panic room, and great insight about all roads to Dean leading through Sam. Awesome!

(BTW, since the story begins with "Sam" being shouted at the first person narrator, I'm utterly failing to see how anyone could mistake whose POV it was, even without the wonderful descriptions.)

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Sam and the panic room just fascinates me for some reason. And I don't write a lot of Sam fic, so this was a departure for me in more ways than one.

And yeah. I can't see missing it on the first read through, never mind repeated readings!

[fifimom.livejournal.com]

Love it!

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[wolfish-willow.livejournal.com]

Ugh, my heart hurts for Sam. I hate that he got stuck in that panic room, alone, again after what happened. But this is something I can definitely see him going through outside the cameras and *-*

Another great Sam POV fic. (I happen to really enjoy 1st person POV, especially when written as well as this one.)

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Thank you! After the hallucinations Sam had during his first stint in the panic room, I just wanted to up the ante and go there again. The poor guy, tripping awful, hurtful things about his family.

I'm glad you liked the first person POV. It was a requirement for this round of las and I'm glad it came across so well.